Grrr and Argh…

I didn’t get to go to the movies with Awesome Girl today because, apparently, she got no sleep the night prior and work was hectic.  Usually, I would call shenanigans.  But my Bullshit Meter is a finely crafted machine, delicately and time-consumingly calibrated to alert me of even the faintest whiff of BS.  I detected none.

She works at a Portland coffee house and did a 13 hour day, so I can understand.  It does sadden me, however, because (due to a fucked up work schedule) today would have been the last time to get to see her for five days.  Grrr.  I can accept such a development rather easily, but it doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.

Also, she informed me tonight via IM that she’s not looking to get into anything too serious for some time but that she’s open to “changes.”  This is an example of the usual womanly double-talk.  The problem with womanly double-talk is deciphering what they really mean.  See, I sense that we both have a connection, and if it takes time to mould that connection into a legitmate relationship, then I’m cool with that.

I do not, however, want to waste countless hours and dollars doing my courtship dance and getting my “I want to date you” point across if the outcome is a predestined “let’s just be friends.”  I have nothing wrong with friends.  That’s cool with me.  But I don’t want to put my heart and soul into this thing if the answer is already “no.”

I guess I’ll lay off, do the “friends with a hint of attraction” thing, and then if more comes to be then… I dunno… then, more comes to be.

Sigh.  I know how this is going to end.  I guess I’ll just prolong the magic and hope the inevitable isn’t quite as inevitable as it seems.

Get it?

Got it?

Fuck.  I feel like a patron to the restaurant called Life, walking in every now and again and requesting “the usual” of the waitress on staff.  I’m tired of the usual.  When are they putting the Porterhouse be on the menu?  I want some fucking steak!

~ by invasiveinfection on April 2, 2008.