Changes

I’m thinking of leaving WordPress behind for another site that offers a little bit more freedom. Sure, I’d be paying for it… but the ability to be more selective about various aspects of my site is rather alluring. I would just download the WordPress application, but for someone who knows very little about website development (and likely has a nasty case of Computer ADD) I’m thinking that the whole “drag and drop” thing will appeal to me a lot.

Also, I think this blog in particular has gone about as far as it can go. After all, I made this during the Half Year of Isolation and I’ve changed quite a bit since then. At least, I’m trying to change. Perhaps now I can get around to the Half Year of Getting Back on Track.

I won’t abandon this blog completely, but I will likely be focusing my attention on other areas.

This Brightened Up My Day…

click it. i dare you.

Not Sure What’s Up With Me…

Haven’t been feeling well lately.

I don’t like this feeling. Wish it would go away, whatever it is.

Urge… To… Kill… Returning…

Oh gawd…

I knew this would happen. The weekend was too perfect and now, having been dragged back into the tentacle laden maw of workplace retardation, I feel the need to spill blood amassing once again. This is one of the few times I can say that I truly hate my job and everything it encompasses.

No worries. If I just keep typing that means I won’t have time to search for sharp objects and other various instruments that can be fashioned into tools of torture.

Must… keep… typing…

Moral Choices and Completion

Ichi the Killer box art.

My apartment is so near completion, I can taste it. All of my furniture is in: the desk, the TV stand that doesn’t suck, and the bookcase. I’ve just ordered away for my creepy Japanese movie posters (which, by the way, are full of awesome) and cannot wait for their arrival.

It’s funny to think that only a few days ago my apartment was this barren place with only a couch-bed and a crappy little microwave cart TV stand. Surely things have changed for the better. As a matter of fact, the place is almost beginning to feel like home. For a person who has felt displaced for the majority of their life, that’s a good feeling to have.

Other than that, my 4th of July was very nice. Went to a rodeo with a friend. Had a fun time making fun of the small children on the mechanical bull and how half of them looked like they were trying to sex said mechanical bull via some abominable form of rejected Kama Sutra-esque maneuvering. We also saw the greatest spectacle to be witnessed by humankind: monkeys riding dogs whilst herding goats. Lulz were had.

Thinking of inviting said friend over this weekend to watch Ichi the Killer, as she has displayed an interest in seeing it. At the very least it will be entertaining to watch her squirm during the nipple removal scene.

Hmmm… on that note, I should probably have another movie on-hand just in case Ichi is too intense. I’m self-aware enough to realize that while I may not take issue with people being cut in half with ice skates and a man who delights in skewering other people’s faces for fun, others might take offense.

Perhaps I should order Oldboy from Netflix too?

Don’t worry, I only feign hopelessness.

Sometimes Silence Is The Best Course Of Action

So, I just wrote an unbelievably long blog about a problem I am dealing with right now. But the problem is so close to my life, both personally and prefessionally, that I dare not post it on the Interwebs until it is resolved.

Kind of sad, actually. It is a rather funny entry.

Oh well, I’ll make it public when I’m over this particular hurdle… one way or another. Then you’ll all be able to see what I’ve had to deal with for the past month.

Oh, Jeebus Christmas. Has it been that long? My will must be made of steel.

EDIT: On a side note, I am rather relieved now that I’ve taken the time to write everything down and get it out of my system. I still want to use a fire whip to vanquish the hell spawn about which I’ve written… but the urge has subsided slightly. With any luck, it won’t come to that.

Heat Kills The Infection

It’s that time of year. The time of year I dread.

Summer.

I know that Portland has a relatively docile Summer in comparison to other parts of the country, and the world for that matter, but I am a Winter person. I always have been. I always will be. The cold is where I belong and I feel much more active when I’m not all… sweaty and… covered in… sweat.

Aside from the heat, things have been chugging along rather nicely. I got my desk today. It’s all glass and wood and made of sexy, the perfect compliment to my growing apartment theme: black, metal, and movies. That’s metal as in the material, not the music, mind you. Unfortunately I cannot fully construct said desk because it came slightly damaged. Nothing I can’t fix. I just need some super glue and the will of Jeebus Christmas. Also, my TV stand is available for pick-up at Walmart, which excites me. I just need to find the time and courage to brave this heat.

Work goes well, aside from all the fucked up people who have been coming in and out all night and one of my co-workers undying proclimations that they are my responsibility to get rid of. Technically she’s right, but the way she goes about it is rather socially and professionally inept. In summation, I want her to explode.

July is fast approaching like that drunken grab-ass uncle at a family reunion, palms extended and lunging for that joyous connection with the supple rump of an unexpecting relative. The 4th should be interesting. Going to a rodeo with a co-worker. I promised fried dough and athletic men in chaps being trampled by enormous pachyderms. Oh yeah. I know what the ladies want.

I found a sexy new application online that acts as a very simple outline creator for novels and the such. It’s free and pretty effing sweet. I’d give you the link but I forgot where it came from already. Either way, I’ve been inputting some very basic elements from my sci-fi epic into said application. Sure helps with the organization. Not that I’d ever forget it. This story has been in my head for so long that it just feels like an alternate set of memories that have, somehow, always been there.

Finally, I remember why I used to listen to Beck’s Guero album almost religiously when I lived in New Hampshire. It’s fucking fantastic. I need to torrent the remix album. Note to self. I need to torrent the remix album.

“I wanted hope from a grave, I wanted strength from a slave. What gives you comfort now might be the end of you then.”

I need to torrent the remix album.

Gah.

Dear Life,

That’s a low blow, my friend.

A low blow, indeed.

Sincerely,

Brandon

P.S. - Not looking forward to tonight.

An Interesting Plot Twist

I am a positive person. If I put positive energy out into the Universe, it will be returned to me ten fold. I believe in karma. I believe in doing the right thing. I believe in the purity of the human spirit. I believe that good things happen to good people, and that in time the justice of Fate will prevail. I believe in honor. I believe in devotion. I believe in love. I believe in an unseen force which, if we are kind to, will deliver to us all the things we need and, if we’re lucky, some of the things we want.

So then why can’t I shake this feeling that everything is about to come crashing down in the most unexpected and unfortunate of manners? I blame Battered Life Syndrome.

Hmmmm.

Chopin isn’t giving me any answers, but at least his music is a calming force in what has slowly become a very stressful and chaotic world.

Centibaby agrees.

Long Time No Blog (An Update)

It’s been awhile since I fired up the ol’ blog, but it’s been for a good reason. A lot of things have changed.

Recently, someone left my cage open and, after six months of isolation and shuffling about in my own fecal matter, I was reintroduced into society. Another reason as to why this blog has died a little bit: the lack of time. When I was locked away in my tiny room giggling at memes and racism all night (and being paid to do so, might I add) there was time aplenty to spew forth all of my joyous findings for you, the reader, to enjoy.

Not so, anymore.

There have been both positive and negative side-effects to my “release.” For one, I find myself to be slightly funnier. My comedic timing has increased drastically and I rarely censor myself (within reason). I’m far more laid back, as I have yet to really feel anxious about anything up to this point. The world kind of flows around me and, most of the time, I find it far more interesting to observe rather than interact. You’re all unbelievably delight to study, might I add.

I bought some weights in a rather futile effort to refine my physique. Moobs are nice for the Winter months and plane crashes with soccer teams in mountainous areas (I would be able to use them much in the same way a polar bear uses fat reserves, thus increasing the amount of time between my realization that rescue is not inevitable and that, deep down inside, I really have no qualms with eating pro-athletes) but I’ve finally decided that it might be a good time to take the plunge into the deep, dark world of personal fitness.

By the end of this month my apartment should look completely different. The Half Lived-in Bare Walls look simply wasn’t doing it for me and so I dipped ever-so-slightly into my savings and ordered a “shit-ton-of-crap” from everyone’s favorite champion of child enslavement, Wal-Mart. Said order includes a media shelf (which is, I guess, what they’re calling TV Stands these days because that’s what I’ll be using it for) and a book shelf. I’m also on the hunt for cheap movie posters (Oldboy, Fight Club, Pulp Fiction, anyone?) and a glass and metal desk.

Aside from that, there isn’t too much to report. Love life is stale. I haven’t really found anything that has caught my eye in the dating world. There are some nice women out there, I just haven’t felt a connection with any of them. But it’s not like I’m running towards any kind of “happy as tits” romantic comedy ending, though… so, blargh.

And one last thing, since you’ve all been such good and patient little boys and girls…

Also, there will be a new banner up when I get the chance to design one… the stock one I have now makes me want to spew bloody aborted fetuses from my anus. Funny how the mere presence of Blood Baby turns my thoughts to dead infants… hmmm…